014 -- Alex's Package From Her Parents

I woke up this morning with an odd, warm feeling. Not a good warm, though, more like this room is too hot warm. And my head felt heavy. I didn't want to think about clothes, but I also didn't want to walk around in pajamas, so I threw on a plain, boring t-shirt and jeans, and walked down into the common room. There were some other people, including Nessie, already there, conversing with one another, and I didn't want to disturb them, but I didn't seem to see anyone else around. I was staring towards the staircase to the boy's dorms, hoping someone I knew would walk down them, but I was poked in the shoulder. I jumped as Alex popped up behind me.

"Boo!" she said. I'd never seen her so goofy, so I stood there staring at her, my hand over my heart.

"Alex," I said, genuinely surprised, "you scared me."

She grinned at me and looked as though she wanted to say something, but we were interrupted by the very person I was hoping would come down the stairs.

"Alex, what are you doing?" Loki asked dourly, as he approached us. Now my surprise was directed at him. It wasn't like him to be so short with people. I figured it must have something to do with our upset by Jo the night before.

"Sorry Alex, I didn't see you there!" I said quickly, hoping to divert the situation, "In fact, I didn't see you at all! Where were you?"

"I was over by the fire," she explained, glancing over, before looking back at Loki with a confused expression on her face. "I got a package from my parents, but it didn't come by owl, which seems..weird. A professor delivered it to me today."

She turned to smile at me. "Sorry about that, but I never get to sneak up on my own family, so I have to make up for it now." I grinned back at her.

Loki's attention was, thankfully, directed elsewhere. He was staring at the package. "What did they send you? It must be a gift, because of your first year here." I couldn't tell if he was interested or not, but his face had softened, so I played along, too.

"That's wonderful! Your parents sent you something? But why haven't you opened it yet?" I exclaimed, perhaps more cheerfully than I felt. I had glanced over at the package when she mentioned it, but it seemed...off. I was nervous, but I was trying to mask it. So I strode over to the fireplace and reached out to grab it. She whisked it out from under me.

"I don't know what it is," she admitted, "but now I have people with me, I suppose I'll open it."

Loki leaned forward as she ripped the tape off the box and pulled aside the panels. My mind was wandering, and I stared at his excited face with some curiosity. I assumed it was school supplies--what else would they send her? And didn't her parents hate her or something? I struggled to remember, but the truth was, I didn't remember much. Alex always seemed to be in the background, getting hurt or dropping and losing things or being sad or upset about something, but we'd never really gotten around to a proper conversation. I didn't want to upset her, though, so I turned back to the box as she pulled paper out of it, feeling a little more curious about it, myself.

"I can't believe it!" she said suddenly, pulling the last ball of paper out, "It's...it's my harp. I can't believe they sent it to me! I didn't think they even knew I had it." She extracted from the box what was probably the most beautiful musical instrument I had ever seen in my life, and my mother in a semi-professional orchestra. The handle was made of a finely polished, dark oak wood, and the strings seemed to glint and shine in gold and silver, as if they were really made from the precious metals. I was fascinated by it, and asked if I could hold it.

"Sure," she said, still smiling, and handing it over. "I taught myself how to play it, and I'm very happy I have it again. I never thought I'd see it again, actually."

I was almost afraid to touch it, and as I held it, I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something about it wasn't right. It was...off, somehow, just like the package had been unopened. The more I looked at it, the more I wanted it, and the less I wanted to be near it. Was it jealousy? I shook my head a little, trying to clear my thoughts. Would jealousy drive me to want to run screaming from the room without it? I wasn't so sure.

"Alex," I said shakily, through my flurry of thoughts, "how did you get such a nice instrument at the age of eleven if your parents never even knew you had it? It looks expensive.."

I saw her face fall, and I looked at Loki. He was staring at the harp, too, but his eyes lit up as though he had awakened when I spoke, and they were mirroring a lot of my own doubts.

She fiddled with her cloak. "My grandmother gave it to me when I was five," she stammered. "Before she died. She told me I should have it."

I still couldn't shake the uneasy feeling I had. "But how is it in such good condition if you taught yourself how to play it at the age of five? I mean, that's six years of normal wear and tear at least. I don't know much about magic, but I do know about being a young girl and banging up an instrument, and this doesn't look right, somehow.." I let my voice drift off, feeling choked. I thought of my violin, sitting up in my dorm....all the nicks in the wood, the dents in the case...how my mother wouldn't let me even think about a new one until I could prove responsibility with the one I had..

I couldn't take another second of it. I placed the harp on a nearby coffee table and stepped back from it quickly. "I'm sorry guys, I have to...I need to go outside for a minute..."

Without looking back at their stunned faces, I turned and fled from the room. My breathing was ragged; I was panicking. I'd never panicked before, about anything. I raced up the stairs out of the dungeons, and ran down the main hall, looking for a refuge. Seeing that the front doors were open, I charged towards them. The fresh air..I just needed the fresh air. On my way down the hall I passed Joellen, who was sitting on a blanket in the hall with an open notebook in her hand, but I barely noticed her.

Once at the open doors, I leaned on the arches and pressed my cheek to the cool stone, breathing deeply and attempting to calm myself down. Now that I was away from the closeness of the common room, and the harp...I felt silly. I had over-reacted, hadn't I? It was just a musical instrument, and a magical one, at that. There was no need to be so stupid over it. I suddenly felt bad, thinking of what I must have cost Alex in my panic. I had ruined her one happy moment. Sighing, I sat down on the steps, right as Loki raced past Jo to join me, and she stood up, herself, watching the two of us.

"What happened back there?" Loki asked as he caught up with me, taking a seat on the steps, as well.

Joellen practically skipped over to join the two of us, looking pleased with herself. She propped open the notebook on one hand and continued to scribble in it, keeping half an eye on the two of us.

"It's nothing, really. I'm sorry.." I said, keeping my eyes closed. I took a few more deep breaths before opening them.

"I over reacted, " I told him, "I'm sure you think I'm insane.."

Jo smiled to herself, catching my attention for the first time.

"What are you writing?" I asked, fearing it might be something about me.

"Independent Studies," she answered promptly, not bothering to look up.

"I don't think you're insane, " Loki whispered, leaning towards me. He looked as upset as I felt. "Really. I'm just worried about you. Are you sure you're ok?"

I sighed. "I over reacted," I repeated firmly. "I'm fine. That harp was really very beautiful. Gorgeous. I wish I had one." I looked down, dropping to a whisper, myself. "I was just jealous of it, is all. I don't know why it freaked me out like that. It just did. I just wish I had one.." I wasn't telling him the truth. Why? He was my friend. Best friend, even. Why wouldn't I just tell him it weirded me out? That it was too nice, too beautiful, and was obviously quivering with some kind of magic...and not a good feeling kind? I couldn't answer any of these, myself, so I let it drop.

I looked back at Joellen, and the uncomfortable feelings from the night before resurfaced. I didn't want her to know she was getting to me, so I put on my best cynical face before speaking to her.

"So, Miss Joellen," I said sarcastically, "been eavesdropping on anyone today?"

She glared at me, finally snapping the notebook shut. "It wasn't eavesdropping, it was intensive listening. I don't want anyone talking bad about me."

She opened the notebook and scribbled another note, before looking back up at me with a disgusted look on her face.

"You shouldn't lean on that wall, you know," she told me, "don't you realize how many germs are probably crawling all over that? You'll get sick."

I shrugged at her, and then gave her a wicked grin. "Oh really? So how do you intend on getting that blanket off the floor without touching those very same germs, yourself?"

Her face blanched, and she glanced back up into the hall, at the blanket she'd been sitting on. She obviously hadn't thought about germs when she placed it there. But she smoothed her face out. "I wasn't. I'm leaving it there." She told me serenely.

Loki was staring from her face to mine, eyes wide. "Hey now.." he said slowly, "You two aren't going to start fighting, are you?"

"This isn't a fight," Joellen said, looking back into the hall. Alex was approaching us, now, looking worried and deeply depressed. I sighed. "Hello, Ms. Alex," Jo said brightly, pausing to scribble more into her book. "How are you today?"

Alex ignored her. She looked past me and appealed to Loki. "Please don't be mad at me!" she begged him. "I'll never mention...it...again. It's in my dorm now and I won't pull it back out!" She was nearly in tears, but I was staring at her in shock. After all, it hadn't been Loki that was freaked out by the harp, but me. Alex had come running out of the common room, not to apologize to me about it, but to talk to Loki. My eyes narrowed at her. What was she playing at? I didn't want an apology; if anything, I should apologize to her. But why was she staring through me as though I didn't exist so that she could cry on Loki's shoulder?

The truth of the situation hit me like a load of bricks, and I gasped, attracting their attention. She liked him! Far from being jealous, I was surprised, and a little put off. I didn't care if she liked him, she could have him, as long as we were still friends. But wrinkling her nose at Frey, and then mysteriously changing her mind and getting a kitten the next day? I suddenly wasn't sure whether she wanted to be friends at all, or whether she just wanted to talk to him, and I suppose my doubt was starting to show on my face, because they were both staring at me, so I smiled quickly.

"I didn't mean to freak out like that!" I assured her suddenly. "I'm sorry, it was beautiful. You'll have to play for me sometime." I shut up and looked down. I didn't want to fight with anyone. I was feeling as though my head weighed a ton, and I really wanted to go back to bed. Enough for one day.

Loki was looking at me, but turned back to Alex first. "It's okay." he told her. He looked back at Jo. I watched him, wondering what he'd say to her. He looked worried..as though he didn't want her to blab whatever it was she'd heard the night before. All good humor gone, he looked her in the eye. "I know you might find it intimidating, but you really should try and be nicer to people rather than condescending."

She snorted and flipped her hair. "I'm not condescending," she told him. "If I really wanted to be mean, I could tell your little friend Jordan how atrocious her taste in clothing is, or how awful she looks all the time, with her hair all over the place." She flashed a wicked smile at the two of us, who were both shocked. "How inexperienced you two are. Trust me, Loki, I'm as kind as they come."

She scribbled more into her notebook in the stunned silence that followed, and then closed it up with a snap. I jumped. "Now if you'll please excuse me, I need my beauty rest. It's not easy looking this good all the time." She turned on her toes and headed back through the halls, ascending the steps towards the towers.

The shock was wearing off, and I was furious. "What is her problem?!" I said through gritted teeth. I stood up very quickly, swaying when the blood rushed from my head. I grabbed the arch for support, and looked at Loki and Alex. "I'm sorry again, guys, but I really don't feel well. I think I need to go back to bed." I walked away as fast as I could manage, turning it all over in my head.

There you go, Alex, I thought. He's all yours.

Once in my dorm room, I left the door open, and strode straight over to my violin case. I needed to calm my nerves, and then get some rest. I pulled out the beat up little instrument as carefully as though it were glass, and stared at it. I'd had it since I was eight years old, and it was definitely showing the wear and tear. I sighed and placed it down, so I could pull out the bow and tighten it. I brushed some rosin onto it, picked up the violin, and played for myself, letting the music flow through my veins and take the edge away with it. I played through everything I knew by heart, keeping my eyes closed tight, and for the first time since I'd come to this school, I tried to forget there was more magic in the world than this.

013 -- Loki's Father

I ran back down into the dungeons, looking for the door to the common room. It was a large portrait, hanging on the wall in the corridor. I glanced around and then whispered the password to it, standing back so it would let me in.

Once inside, I noticed that Loki was still sitting in the window seat. He was still petting Frey, and was looking stormier than ever. I was so confused by this point that my good humor vanished as if it had never been. I approached him cautiously.

"Did you want to go talk?" I asked, feeling unsure whether he wanted to be interrupted.

He looked up, almost startled that I had snuck up on him. "Yeah," he nodded to me. "Did you find somewhere we can go?"

I sat down and flipped open my journal to the page I had scribbled the notes on. "Yeah, there are some old, unused classrooms on the third floor," I told him. "I figured those are our best bet for privacy. Shall we go?"

He nodded again, still quiet, and stood up, letting Frey jump onto the seat to curl up in the warm spot where he'd been sitting. "Yes, let's go," he whispered.

I stood to, and went back out the door, letting him silently follow behind.

We trekked up to the third floor, and, winded, started looking around where I was sure I'd found the classrooms. After a brief moment of being lost, we discovered an abandoned room filled with old, dusty tables. There were some chairs arranged in a circle around one that was standing out by itself, and several shelves filled with possessions that looked much too recent. I had the funny feeling that someone had been using it recently, but since there wasn't anyone here now, I marched in and sat down at the solitary table, indicating that Loki should also sit with me. He did, and I turned to him.

"Now, what's all this gloom about? And why the odd moment last night in the Hall?" I asked, eager to know what was bothering my friend.

He took a deep breath to steady himself.

"It's a long story...I was born in a snowy town in the United States. My parents were so proud to have a son. My father is rich, and needed someone to take over his company. But as I started growing...things started happening. I would make weird things happen...like a lot of young wizards and witches who are inexperienced. Well it scared them, and they thought maybe I'd been possessed by the real Loki, the God. They worried a lot about this...and finally, when I made some of my parents' money disappear...they'd had enough. They decided the best place to move...was to a town in Massachusetts...called Salem."

He was shaking. I did my best to listen without response, letting it all sink in, but I had an odd feeling that it wouldn't be happy, the end of this story..

"They thought being in a town that hated magical beings would scare the powers out of me...it should have worked...if Loki had really possessed me. That place...it was terrifying. Things only got worse. My father had always attended my junior track meets, and cheered me on. Now he only glares...and acts like I'm wasting his time. Then...it happened. Some kids were picking on me because they saw me stop their ball from hitting me in the face. They started hurting me...and I got so angry...I wished they would stop."

There were tears in his eyes now. I shivered.

"A tree branch, a huge one, fell and hit them on the head. There was so much blood...I didn't know what to do! My father was furious...he wouldn't even talk to me, and would constantly insult me and everything I did...my mother...as usual, drank her cocktail and pretended like we were talking about the weather....I didn't do anything wrong...right? There's nothing wrong with me! And when I got my Hogwarts letter we found out why those things had happened. But my father didn't let me go...I finally managed to tell him that I would get good grades...and that at Hogwarts I'd learn to control my powers. He let me go...and thank god for the beginners deposit at Gringotts...because without it...I wouldn't have been able to come. They had all that money...and refused to get it exchanged for Wizard currency."

He looked at me for my response..he looked so fearful, and he was crying, though he was trying not to, and I could tell. I thought back on it. His mother, drunk and turning her head to the side? A father not proud of his own son, because he felt that his own reputation would be ruined by it? Without warning, I burst into tears, myself.

"Loki!" I sobbed, "I never knew! I'm so sorry! And here I've talked to you about missing my own parents, when yours were so cruel!" I covered my face with my hands, unable to bear the shame. How terrible for him! And how awful of his parents! I couldn't fathom two adults being so mean.

He was crying now, too. "I'm sorry I made you cry, too! It's fine, really! I'm glad your parents are so wonderful! It lets me know nice people exist in this world." He looked down, settling a little.

"It's nice knowing that not all people are brutes like my dad. I never knew what kindness was, Jordan, until I met you. You're amazing! And ever since I've felt so close to you...closer than to the others.." He was blushing now and looking at his hands. I looked down, too, and felt my stomach sink. Hands. Darla was talking about hands.. Holding hands.

I gulped. I didn't want to think about hands, or holding hands, or how amazing anyone was. It was frightening me to think of those things.

"I like being around you, too," I admitted softly. "You're the first friend I've ever truly had, ever since that first day by the fireplace, so don't be so sad. We'll be like family now, I promise. You have a whole family and a home here." I waved my hand around at the dusty room. "You don't need your father and his company. So please stop being sad."

He smiled for me. "You are my friend," he said, "And I'm so thankful for that."

I looked around, deciding it was time to change the subject. "So what do you think these rooms were used for, anyway?" I stood up and started examining the names scratched into the tables, and the photos on the shelves.

"Maybe they're used for practical lessons!" he suggested, excited. He made one last comment about his father, and I cringed. "Now you know why I detest being called Mr. Sulliman. Mr. Sulliman is my father. I'm just Loki."

I nodded, dismissing it. "That's an annoying habit, anyway. Jo should quit it." I said, forgetting her immediately. I felt nervous. The eerie silence in this room was starting to get to me.

"So what should we do now?" Loki asked. "Not the Great Hall again, we've been there too much already this week. I'd rather explore."

I turned and leaned against the table to look at him. "I'm not sure where to go, though. I did a lot of exploring earlier today.." I said, still uneasy.

We both heard a noise in the hall at that moment and looked up to see the very girl we had just mentioned walk into the room. My face fell, and so did Loki's. I knew he was wondering the same thing; how long had she been there?

"We could go hang out at the fourth floor staircase," she suggested with a coy smile.

"How did you know that we were thinking about going somewhere?" Loki shot at her, nervously. I glared at her. How like her to be lurking out in the hall when we were trying to escape everyone!

She laughed and flipped her hair off of her shoulder. "I wanted to make sure you weren't talking about me," she said confidently.

"The staircase doesn't sound very interesting.." Loki said, still looking a little green at the thought of Jo knowing his secret. "What if we go outside and practice some spells?"

I frowned. "I don't have a wand yet," I told him. "One of the Prefects is supposed to be taking me to Diagon Alley over Winter Holiday."

Joellen glanced around the dusty room disdainfully. "I don't have a wand, either," she said, holding her finger to her nose to keep from sneezing. "But I can't stay in this dirty old room. Maybe we could practice saying spells."

Loki sighed wearily. He looked very tired, and his eyes were puffy and red from crying. "Sorry, girls, but I think I'm just gonna go to bed after all," he announced, yawning. I yawned, too, as Loki stood up to leave. "Goodnight Jordan..Jo." he said, walking past her and out the door without looking back. I stared after him sadly.

Joellen smirked over at me. "Maybe you should go to bed, too. You're only ten, and you need your sleep." She was annoying me. Why couldn't she act like she was the same age as we were? Stupid, cocky first year. I was still staring after Loki, and but I turned and rounded on her angrily as soon as he was down the stairs and out of earshot.

"Look here!" I growled, getting in her face. She stepped back, wrinkling her nose. "Just who do you think you are? All this fake politeness and mocking smiling..why don't you just lay off the two of us!" I grabbed my journal off the dusty desk, and sneezed when the cloud of dust rose up around my face. "I'm going to bed," I announced. "But only because I want to, and not because I'm "too young" to stay up!" I marched past her and down the hall, hoping she wouldn't follow. At least I could escape her once I got to the dungeons.

Back in the common room, I threw my stuff down on the desk and sat down heavily. I was more tired than even I had realized. I thought about writing to my parents, but I didn't know what to say. What should I tell them? My mother's tour was up in Spring, and both of my parents wanted to move back to the 'States. With me. But I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay here. I was trying to figure out how to convince them to let me stay. Sighing, I rested my cheek against the cool wood of the desk, and closed my eyes. I drifted off to sleep thinking about letters and crappy fathers and Jo's superior comments...

012 -- At The Table Again

After exploring the castle, I decided to eat.

No one I knew was sitting at the Hufflepuff table, so I sat down apart from them, quiet for the first time in days. I wanted to write in my journal, but I decided to try and write letters to my parents. I couldn't come up with anything, however. It was...surprisingly difficult, and made me sad to think about.

As I was sitting there thoughtfully, Marius walked up to the table.

"'Ello there Jordan? Not writing anything too private I 'ope? Maybe I join you lass, or are you busy?" he said cheerfully, sitting down anyway.

I grinned at him, and closed the journal quickly. I wasn't sure about having anyone read, plus I didn't want anyone to see the note about the secret passage.

I grabbed a sandwich off of a nearby plate and took a bite. "I'm trying to write to my parents," I explained. "But so much has happened already, I don't know what to write!" I swallowed the sandwich and washed it down with some juice.

"No worries lass, I get the same way somtimes, " he said, taking some food for himself, as well. "I must admit, even though I've found some great friends 'ere at Hogwarts, I miss my family something terrible."

We both looked up when Joellen walked over. She took it upon herself to grab a seat, and looked back at the two of us. "Write about me, Ms. Bard. I'm sure your parents would love to hear that you'd met such a smart, caring girl as myself."

I nearly choked on my sandwich. That was really presumptuous of her. I stared at her, but she pretended to ignore me, reaching instead for a tuna salad sandwich, before withdrawing her hand. "Is this dolphin safe tuna?" she asked us.

I shrugged and looked back at the paper. "No, I want to write them happy things, like my experiences here." I decided. "They need to hear that this place is like Heaven on Earth. I need to be able to tell them that." I got no response to this, but Alex had just walked in and sat down at the table with a letter of her own in her hands.

"Sorry about last night," she told us as she took a seat next to me. "I was being over-emotional." I noticed Joellen raise her eyebrows at this statement, but thankfully, she said nothing.

"I hope you're feeling better today, Alex," I told her, but then I turned back to Jo. "Why do you insist on sticking to that Ms. crap?" I asked her angrily. "Are we not good enough for the high and mighty Joellen? Why do you keep switching between Jordan and Ms. Bard?"

She grimaced at me. "No, silly, you guys are my friends, and I'm just showing you a little respect. I tried calling you Jordan, but that felt rude, so I'm sorry Ms. Bard. I'll try harder."

My annoyance must have shown on my face, because she added, "Besides, you guys are a lot of fun! For Hufflepuffs, anyway."

"What have you got there Alex?" Marius asked, interrupting our little dispute.

She looked up from the letter. "It's a letter from my parents, telling me they've moved to Russia. They keep moving from place to place to place, without ever stopping long enough to make it a home."

Joellen snorted. "Huh. Well, that sucks."

"I'm just happy I don't live with them anymore." she said, crumpling the paper in her hands into a ball, and shoving it into her bag.

I shot a glare at Jo, and looked back at Alex. "Why wouldn't you want to live with your parents?" I asked her in disbelief.

She shrugged. "They're overbearing and always had me under their thumb. They had big plans for me, I think, but I just don't fit in. My parents were always home. My sister was there, too, but she left for school and never like me much, because they gave me so much attention. I was glad to be rid of them." She seemed to know she had said too much, because she started shoveling food into her mouth.

"Fascinating," Jo said on the other side of the table. She was leaning back with her arms crossed and smirking at Alex with a smug expression on her face. I opened my mouth to say something snappy back to her, but she stood up rather abruptly. "Well, if you will all please excuse me, I must be going now."

Without another word, she'd left. And Alex was looking extremely uncomfortable. I was starting to feel my intuition tingle whenever I was around her. It seemed like her life was wrapped up in a lot of trouble..trouble I didn't really want to be a part of. But I said nothing and continued eating.

"Hey, do you two lasses wanna see a picture of my family?" Marius piped up, thankfully turning the spotlight to himself. He reached into his robes and extracted a much abused picture out of his pocket. He proudly handed it over to me. I was surprised to see that all the people in it were moving! But my shock was swallowed up in my jealousy. They both had siblings. And I was alone.

"You guys are so lucky to have sisters," I lamented.

"Yeah, that was taken right before she left for university, " Marius happily explained. "That was the last time we were all together, in front of me dad's shop." Alex leaned over me for a better look.

"You know, even with my parents traveling all the time, I didn't think to bring a picture of either of them." I mused. "I'll have to ask for one when I write them."

I handed the pic off to Alex and looked back at Marius. "So your dad owns a shop? How cool! What does he sell?"

"Magical Curiosities," the boy told me proudly. "He looks all over the world for some of this stuff."

"Wow, I like your family," Alex was saying. "You look a lot like your dad and sister." She had finished her food, and now poured herself a mug of hot chocolate, grabbing some marshmallows to stir into it.

"Yeah, that's my sister Constance. She's a squib so she obviously didn't come here to Hogwarts, but I don't care one whit, I couldn't miss her more if I tried." He took the photo back, looking at it affectionately. "She was so proud that I got into Hufflepuff, just like me mum." He stowed the picture away and looked back at us. "Me dad opened that shop just before I came here. I think Mum was tired of all the moving around, and wanted to settle down for a change." He laughed at the thought.

"My uncle was a squib, too. " Alex said, drinking down her hot chocolate very quickly. "He died when he was seven, though. Drank a potion his mother was making."

I didn't know what squib meant, and was going to ask, but she cut back in before I got a chance.

"Well, sorry to do this guys, but it's late and I need to go to bed." I thought it was a little early, but she gathered up her things. We told her goodnight as she left the hall.

"I guess I should go, too," I said after a moment. I stuffed the still-empty papers back into the journal. "I left Loki sitting in the common room and I'm gonna go find out what he's up to."

"Alright, see you later Jordan! I'm gonna go out for some fresh air, meself." Marius replied as he drained his cup of tea.

I waved and left for the dungeons.. My

011 -- Exploring the Castle

Notes:

Abandoned Classrooms on the third floor, in the Red Cap Room area. Seem like meeting places for most students, probably our best option.

Gargoyle in hallway of sixth floor has a passageway behind it. I walked along it, and found myself in the basement of some other building! I didn't know where I was, but I was terrified of being in trouble for leaving the castle without permission, so I ran back.

There is a Grotto on the lake that is very secluded and serene, when no one else is there. It's hard to find areas of the castle and grounds that don't have other students, especially older kids who just want to find somewhere to snog.

Goblet of Fire cafe in the library! Finally--I knew there was a library somewhere in this school, and I've found it on the fourth floor, with its' own cafe tucked away off to the side. I think I'll return here later and get something to eat or drink. Also plan on reading books.

010 -- Loki's Mysterious Upset

I dressed quickly the next morning and headed downstairs with Loki's kitten Frey still cuddled in my arms. I had met my roommate, Nessie, and told her about it. We hadn't gotten a chance to really get to know each other yet, but she seemed like a nice girl.

When I entered the room, I looked over and noticed Loki sitting in the window seat, looking morosely out the enchanted window, which, today, was streaked with rain.

When I saw him, Fraiser started wiggling and squirmed out of my arms to run over to his friend and master, his tail twitching and an instant purr in his throat.

"You have a very forgiving cat," I commented, pretending to scold, "I'd be pretty ticked off if I was forgotten in the Great Hall last night."

Loki tried to smile for me, but I noticed it had fallen flat, a little. He leaned down to pick up his cat. "Frey! Did you have a nice sleepover with Jordan?" he asked, cuddling the kitten close. Frey leaned over and bit his finger in response. Rubbing it, he looked back up at me.

"Sorry about that," he said, "I had a lot on my mind last night. I hope he didn't give you too much trouble."

"Not at all," I said, walking over and sitting down next to him, "It was nice to have him cuddle up to me, actually." I scrutinized the sad look on his face. "What could possibly have been on your mind last night, other than our food fight?" I asked him.

He looked down, quiet. He stroked Frey's fur and finally answered me. "Joellen called me Mr. Sulliman last night...and, well, it brought up some bad memories that I was hoping I could escape while I was here," he told me softly.

I was confused. "I know Joellen's annoying, but why would being called Mr. Sulliman bother you?"

He cringed, and I softened. "Do you not want to talk about it?" I asked him. "I won't say another word, if that's the case."

He shook his head. "I should tell you, but not here. Somewhere secluded." He hugged the kitten close.

More confused than ever, I nodded and sat back. "I don't know any secluded areas in the castle, " I conceded finally. "But I can go look! I'm sure they're around somewhere. Should we go eat first?"

He shook his head again. "No, that's fine, how about you go eat and then look? I'm going to sit here for a bit, I think."

I could tell he really did want to be alone, so I stood up, stretching. "Ok," I said softly, before wandering off.

009 -- Eating in the Great Hall That Night

As we sat down, I was still staring at my sad friend. I looked up to see a smug, satisfied looking Jo, with a sullen Alex sitting across from her. It was clear who had won the race.

"I think it was a tie, " my friend told me, trying to smile. "So we both came in third, really."

We took our seats and waited for Marius to come in. He walked in slowly, rubbing an apple on his robes and half smirking at us. His fox, we noticed, was staring out from under the table at him. Marius grinned broadly.

"You just can't compete with a purebred Scotsman, eh guys?" he told us, laughing. "Good job Felix!" He winked at all of us, and asked, "Why are you all out of breath, eh?"

I grimaced at him. How cocky! Taking a chunk out of the roll I had grabbed, I threw it at him lightly. "What do you mean, out of breath?!" I asked indignantly. "Who's out of breath? I'M breathing just fine....now, anyway." I smiled, tearing another chunk off the roll and eating it. I was starving now. Beside me, Loki was fairly wolfing down his own food.

Marius laughed, sitting down at the table and plucking a grape off of the bunch sitting on a platter midtable. He threw it at me. "Who does a lad need to bewitch to get a spot of tea around here?!" he roared, spotting the tea kettle and pouring some for himself. He sliced a chunk of the roast we were all eating, cutting a piece for his fox, who was waiting patiently under the table. "Ahh, tea for me and roast for Felix." he said happily.

Alex looked up. "I have no idea what you just said Marius. I could hardly understand the Scottish when I lived here. My parents couldn't either; they told me not to speak to them again until they could learn proper English. No offense." she added. We all stared at her in shock, and then, as one, looked over to Marius for his reaction. Loki even spit out some of his food.

But Marius just laughed her off, waving one hand dismissively. "My apologies then Alex that you couldn't have been from the great land of Scotland, unfortunately we are a pretty selective group. Fine breeding and all that. But with any luck we'll find you a good Scotsman during your stay 'ere at Hogwarts!" He popped some grapes into his mouth, and washed them down with a swig of tea.

Alex must have realized what she had said, because she blushed to her roots. "I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed. "I didn't mean it like that!"

I wondered what she did really mean, then, but I let it go and listened.

"I really am sorry. I'm Scottish too, but I didn't realize what I had said." She looked down, ashamed. I felt she deserved it, but still decided to change the subject.

"Don't be upset, Alex! If Marius isn't angry, I'm not, either." I bit into my roll, and then, without warning, yanked another one off the table and threw it at Marius.

It hit him in the face, and Loki and started laughing. Marius looked down at his plate to see what had hit him, and then he laughed again, too. "Well look here!" he said, "I wanted a roll, and one rains down on my plate! This school really is magic!"

Loki wiped his eyes. "Geez Marius! Rolls really like you today!" he choked through his laughter.

"Aye, and grapes seem to like you!" he joked back, picking up a whole handful and pitching them back. We both ducked, grapes rolling off our heads and shoulders. Somewhere in the mess of flying food, Alex muttered that she needed rest, and left, her shoulders slumped. I decided not to notice her again. I didn't know what her problem was and couldn't understand it. Jo and walked out at some point, too, but I didn't notice her departure, either.

In the confusion that followed, Felix also made another appearance. He was apparently done with his roast, and had popped up on the chair to steal his master's.

"Oy! Felix! That's my dinner, mate!" Marius roared, ducking under the table after his fox. We heard them scuffling around, and I, throwing a wicked grin at Loki, grabbed a whole bunch of grapes and hopped down off my chair.

Outside the table and the fight going on underneath it, I started plucking the grapes off and chucking them under the table, hoping they were hitting Marius and not Felix. Loki was laughing and before long had joined me, throwing them as well.

Eventually Marius emerged, brushing off his clothing while Felix licked his lips happily, having won the fight.

"It's not fair!" he growled at his fox. "I was ambushed!" In a quick movement, he had yanked his wand back out of his pocket and had it pointed directly at Loki's face. In an instant the atmosphere changed. My face fell and I could see Loki looked uncertain. But Marius was holding back grins.

"If you don't cut it out, I'm going to shine a mildly bright light in your face!" he threatened jokingly. We both broke into giggles. I leaned over and ruffled the fur between the fox's ears.

"Did you win, Felix?" I asked him.

Meanwhile, Loki was done laughing. He sighed contentedly and smiled at us.

"Well, I'm done with dinner and it really is bedtime. Goodnight guys!" He turned and left the hall without looking back, his hands in his pockets.

"G'night mate!" Marius called after him. He turned back to me and Felix. "Well, I hope you two are happy."

"I think Felix is really quite pleased with himself." I said, standing. I looked down at the chair and saw the sleeping kitten, Frey, still wrapped up in my scarf.

"Wait Loki! Your kitten..."I called, but he seemed to be gone already. I looked back at Marius. "It's not like him to just forget his cat." I said quietly.

"Yeah, I was wondering the same thing. He must be preoccupied." Marius said to me, sticking his hands in his pockets and looking thoughtfully at the door.

I leaned down and scooped up the tiny bundle. "Well, you can just come sleep with me tonight." I told the drowsy kitten inside. I looked back at Marius. "So, what else is there to do in a big castle at night?" I asked him, wanting to wander.

"Actually lass, I think Felix and I are hitting the hay, too." he said back to me. He tipped his hat, and I giggled. "Goodnight miss! Adventures await us tomorrow!" He strolled out with the fox, whistling to himself.

I watched him go, stroking the kitten's fur gently, and then raised my eyes to the enchanted ceiling. This ceiling had been fascinating to me since my first day here. I'd never seen anything like it. Bewitched to look like the sky outside, it was smoky gray tonight and the clouds were rolling across it as though there was no ceiling at all. I looked around at the empty tables as the lights dimmed, and sighed. It seemed like it was time for bed, anyhow, and I walked quietly out the door after Marius.

008 -- The Apple Grove

Sorry guys! It's been a while since I updated on Jordan's progress. She's been up to quite a bit, including being sick with the flu and being unable to find treatment in the hospital wing, which sort of sucked. However, there have been a number of incidences between Jordan and her newfound friends, which she's going to try and recount in her usual third-person way. I like writing like that. :)

As far as my life has gone, while Jordan was sick, I was in a wedding for two of my closer friends! ^_^ It was a beautiful ceremony and I was nearly bawling the entire time, but I'm very happy. Congratulations to the new Mr. and Mrs. David Notter! I hope they have a long, healthy, happy marriage, from the bottom of my heart!

That aside, I've just been lazy with this, is all. I think I may be coming down with something, myself, so if I don't update, that's why. Not that I really think anyone reads this...


After my talk with Joellen in the hall, we decided it was best to get outside, and I still wanted to pick apples, so I took her out to the Apple Tree Grove I'd found on my first day here. As I was walking in, I noticed a couple of older students snogging against one of the trees, and I turned quickly, blushing, to avoid them. As if I wanted to see any of that! It was chilly and I sadly thought it might be too cold for apple picking. Back in the United States, where I lived most of the time, this was the perfect time of year to pick apples. But here it was further north, and I kept forgetting it. As I looked, however, there seemed to be a lot of red, ripe apples on the trees, and I felt a little less nervous about the weather. I looked behind me for Jo. She was running to keep up.


"Hey, wait up!" she called. I watched her stop and glance at the older couple, before looking back at me. "How many do you think we'll get?" she asked, nodding at the trees, "And what will we do with them?" She didn't pause to wait for my answer before she noticed how much I was shivering. "Are you all right?" she asked. It was the first concerned question I'd heard from her.

I nodded and smiled for her, not wanting her to see how much I really missed my home. "I'm all right, " I replied. I looked up into the tree nearest me. "Hey, want an apple?" I asked, before swinging myself up into the branches. I loved climbing trees; one of the few outdoor activities that really pleased me. Looking around, I spotted a nice, fat, juicy looking apple and picked it. I dropped it down to her, and, grabbing one for myself, I jumped back down into the leaves.

I smiled at her again and looked at my apple. It looked so delicious, my mouth was watering, and my stomach let out an audible growl. I laughed it off. "Apparently I'm ready for this!" I exclaimed excitedly before taking a bite.

As I chewed, I looked at Jo, who was smiling at me, but looked wary of the apple I'd dropped to her. She rubbed it a little, but then tucked it into her hoodie pocket.

"I'll eat it later." she told me. She continued walking through the trees, looking around.

I stood there stunned. I thought she liked apples, and I thought we were starting something of a friendship, but she was such a strange girl! I took another bite of my apple.

"Then why did you come to pick apples with me?!" I called after her, a little exasperated. "Do you even like them?"

I noticed Alex running up, waving, a moment later out of the corner of my eye, and turned to her, smiling. It'd been all day and I hadn't seen any of the people I really knew. "Hi Alex!" I said brightly to her. I looked back in the direction of Joellen, and yelled for her to come back.

Jo walked back over, her eyes wide and staring at me. "Oh no, Ms Ba--I mean Jordan. I like apples well enough, but these were just picked! They aren't clean and might have worms. I'll eat it when I get a chance to clean it off first." She looked over Alex when she noticed her. "Hello." she said neutrally. "I'm Joellen Karr. What is your name?"

I hadn't realized that Jo didn't know Alex, but I didn't have time to introduce them myself, because a moment later, Loki had found us, as well. I felt my emotions tumble when I saw him, but I hid it well. It still scared me that he could evoke any more emotion in me than my other friends, and I certainly didn't want him to know about it.

"I finally found some friends!" he said, looking exhausted and out of breath. "I've been looking everywhere for someone.." He stopped talking when he saw Jo, but he smiled. I noticed the smile didn't quite reach his eyes, and he looked as nervous as I felt. It reminded me of my earlier conversation, and I glanced between the two anxiously.

Alex had told Jo her name and was smiling and starting to walk off, but she stopped, as well, when she saw Loki, and mumbled a "hi" to him, looking at the ground and falling very quiet. I looked at her curiously and wondered what on Earth was bothering her. There was no uneasiness with her, was there?

Jo, meanwhile, had blushed a deep scarlet. "I'm so sorry!" she practically shouted, sounding very insincere. I shot her a glare. "I didn't mean you yesterday, I meant the big scary scottish boy and the pretty blonde girl!" I tried to stifle a giggle. Loki looked terribly confused, but Jo had said exactly what I wanted her to say. That it was about Marius and Ally. Whatever she'd meant.

"Everyone makes mistakes, so don't worry about it," he said, uncomfortably. He still looked confused by her statement, though. "Who? What scary guy and what blonde?" he asked.

I felt incredibly nervous now, so I laughed a little forcefully and held up my apple so Loki could see it. "We're picking apples, see?" I told him, hoping to distract him from the tense conversation of the night before. "They taste so much better fresh, don't you think?" As if to prove myself right, I hastily bit off a chunk, chewed, and swallowed. "So, what were you up to today? And where have Ally and Marius been? I've been so bored!"

Loki was looking at Alex, a strange look on his face that I'd never seen before. "Are you feeling ok?" he asked, concerned.

Alex shrugged. "It's nothing. I was just thinking about something..and I don't want to think about it anymore." She looked up and put a big false smile on her face. "You know, I think I will try an apple!" she said, tearing a big one off of a low branch and taking a bite. Her face lit up. "Wow, Jordan! These are delicious!" She continued eating. I wondered if she didn't want to talk at all anymore.

Loki laughed and looked back over at me. "I haven't been up to anything today, and I haven't seen anyone, so I don't know where they are. But I do have a surprise!" He reached into his robes and pulled out his little calico kitten, Frey. "I figured he needed some fresh air, " he explained, "after being cooped up in the common room for so long."

I gasped in delight and reached over to grab the little kitten. "Frey!" I cooed, snuggling him to my face, and dangling the tassels of my scarf for him to play with. "I was trying to get him to come down and sit with me this morning, but even he was avoiding me." I told Loki. I looked at Alex and laughed; she was still choking down her apple.

"They're awesome, aren't they?" I said happily, feeling the tension lift.

Loki looked at me, smiling. "You called him? He must have slept as long as I did!" He stuck his hand out and played around with the kitten for a minute while I held him, but then frowned as his stomach growled, and reached up to grab one of the apples for himself.

We were then hailed by Marius, who told us he'd been walking by the lake, and his fox Felix, who was actually the one that found us. Joellen had fallen behind us while we walked around, silent.

"'Ello there!" Marius said jovially, hailing us. We greeted them and asked him where he'd been, and then I noticed Alex rooting through the leaves. She'd been speaking a moment before, but I hadn't heard what she'd said or seen what she'd dropped.

"What are you looking for, Alex?" I asked her, looking down. I continued to stroke Frey, who was now wrapped up in my scarf.

Joellen had approached us now, and was whispering to Loki, but I didn't catch that, either. She looked over a little and asked what Alex was looking for, as well.

"I dropped my wand." she explained, shifting the leaves around in the dark. I couldn't imagine how she could see anything; the sun was setting very fast.

Joellen, Marius, and Loki were behind us; it sounded as though she was introducing herself to both of them. I glanced at her, but my attention was diverted again by Alex bumping into my legs as she looked more frantically.

"What color is the wood, " I asked her, carefully dropping to my knees and using my free hand to help her look.

Behind me, Marius pulled out his own wand. "Let's see if we can shed some light on the situation!" he announced dramatically, holding the wand out, tip first. "Lumos!"

I was temporarily blinded by the spot of light it produced, and I looked up surprised. "Marius! I didn't know you knew any spells!" I said delightedly.

He smiled. "I've been practicing a little. Getting ready for classes, you know." He shined the light down on the leaves, and within a few moments, we were looking in earnest for the wand again. I shivered from the cold. Alex was still shuffling around, and she ran into a tree.

"Ow!" she said, rubbing her head and sitting down, her quest abandoned.

I raised my eyebrows at her. It seemed odd that she should bump her head after the light was around, but maybe it had surprised her, too. "Are you ok?" I asked kindly, still looking for the wand. Loki asked her, too.

"I'm sure she's fine. " a voice said. We looked up to see Jo, hands clasped behind her back, and staring off into space. She seemed rather unconcerned about our friend. Moments later Loki produced the lost wand. It was a dark reddish brown wood, and I felt a flare of jealousy. I did so want a wand of my own.

"Here it is!" he said, handing it back to Alex, who was by now recovered.

"I do so wish I had a wand" I said out loud this time, as Marius extinguished his light. He and Loki looked surprised at this.

"You don't have a wand?" Marius asked me. "That won't do, we'll have to see about getting over to Diagon Alley to get one of yorn." He stowed his wand into his pocket and looked at Alex, chuckling a little. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," she repeated.

Jo walked back up, holding her arms around herself. "I'm cold, should we go in?"

I agreed with her. I wanted to be back in now that this grove had gotten so dark. One by one, we all voiced our agreement.

"Should we go to the table or get lost in the castle?" she asked us.

"I vote table, I am hungry," Loki piped up. I seconded that, and turned towards the castle, when Alex took off running.

"Last one there's a banshee!" she called back.

I laughed, feeling something lift from my shoulders like a fallen burden. So I started running, too. A few bounds ahead, I turned around and looked back at Loki. "Sorry for hogging your cat!" I yelled, "But if you want him to back, you'll have to beat me there!" I turned and ran full tilt, but Jo and Loki were faster. Jo raced on ahead of me, beating Alex through the doors, and Loki caught up to me, laughing.

As he rushed through the doors, however, he stopped, a look of terror on his face, and tripped over the final step, falling. He scrambled back to his feet as I came level with him, but he wouldn't speak to me. Anxiously, I checked the halls but saw nothing out of place, or even remotely scary looking, so I followed him through the doors to the Great Hall, confused and crestfallen. This was supposed to be fun. Hadn't he had fun? As we approached the table, I handed his kitten over to him, still draped in my blue scarf.

"You win.." I told him quietly.

007 -- Confronting Joellen..

There wasn't anyone I knew around today. I wondered where they all were. After scribbling down all of my thoughts on the past weekend, I still hadn't seen a single person walk through the common room and no one had come out of the dorms, either. I wondered if they might be down in the Great Hall, and I was hungry, so I ran upstairs to put my journal away and grab my jacket. I also grabbed a scarf for good measure; I didn't know how chilly it might be outside.

I fairly ran up the stairs out of the Dungeons. This was too close to my first two days, and I wanted to be rid of the creeping cold that was re-entering my bones. When I entered the Great Hall, none of my friends were there, either. With a heavy sigh, I trudged over on my own, threw my stuff into the empty chair beside me, and began eating toast. I looked around the Hall at the other tables, with laughing students and conversations, but I was too timid to approach any new people now. I wanted to be sure my friends were real. I wanted to know that everything that had happened had really happened. Even the weird hand-holding incident seemed like a dream.

I caught her sight. There, the Ravenclaw girl that had mentioned the word, boyfriend. She saw me and got up to come talk to me. I noticed there wasn't anyone sitting with her, either, and I began to feel some pity. Maybe she just hadn't gotten a chance to bond with anyone yet.

She asked me to sit and I said yes, indicating the seat across from me.

"How are you doing today, Ms. Bard?" she asked me. I sat there nonplussed. Ms. Bard? My name was Jordan. Which I told her.

"My name is Jordan. You can call me that, you know. Unless you think you're one of the professors?" I didn't mean to sound upset, but inside I was seething. Who was this girl to act so weird with me after upsetting my night? I guess I haven't quite forgiven her, after all. I composed myself and tried to smooth my own anger back over.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I'm just grumpy today. Please just call me Jordan."

"I can't do that, Ms. Bard." She sounded so prim, so superior. "I'm sorry, but it makes me uncomfortable."

"Why?" I wondered, distracted now. "You seemed to have no problem calling me Jordan the other night. Why this sudden politeness?"

The other night, with our conversation, came flooding back, very much part of my reality now. Joellen had remade this nightmare by being here. I needed to talk to her about it.

"Tell me something," I said, leaning forward across the table and looking intently into her face. I spoke very softly, and low. I didn't want anyone to overhear. "Tell me why you used that word. Boyfriend. I don't have a boyfriend. I don't WANT a boyfriend. I just want my friend to be my friend again." I took a deep breath to steady myself, and went on, "You have to un-do this. You have to talk to him. Tell him you weren't talking about us, anything. Make it so it never happened." It was then I realized just how much it was getting to me. I wondered why as I sat back, chewing on my toast. The other girl, Joellen, looked scared and wide-eyed over at me. She almost looked about to cry.

"I didn't mean anything by it!" she stammered. "I was just trying to talk! I'll go talk to him Ms. Bar--Jordan. I'll tell him whatever you want me to, just please don't be mad at me!"

She sounded sorry. I narrowed my eyes at her, and took a drink of juice. But she was looking so forlorn that I had to let it go. I wasn't really mad at her, anyway. I was just upset over the whole thing. And I needed to let that go.

"It's ok, Jo. I know you didn't mean anything by it." I said, hoping I sounded sincere.

"So did you start your classes?" she asked me. I sighed again. How many times would this question come up?

"No," I said wearily, staring at my goblet. "I arrived too late to start classes. I'm waiting for January and Winter term."

"What about your parents? Are they both wizards?"

"No," I said again, "They're muggles. They're travelling in Europe right now for their work, and sent me here so they wouldn't need to keep a nanny on hand for me. I didn't even know I had magical abilities until the nanny and I got the letter. I haven't even bought a wand yet--I almost feel like I don't belong here." I did belong here. I DO. I know this. I've never felt more at home, anywhere. So why did I tell her I don't think I belong?

"What about you? Are your parents wizards, then?"

"My mom married a wizard," she explained, rushing a little. "But he died last year; my dad. Lung cancer from smoking." She seemed sad again. "It's hard to talk about."

"That's terrible!" I exclaimed, all my pity for this strange girl rushing back. "I'm so sorry, Jo! I didn't know." For a brief, horrible second, I imagined never seeing my dad again. His brilliant smile, his words of wisdom, the letters he'll write me, his photo albums...I shuddered and tried to dismiss the thought. "Did he warn you about the wizarding world? I was overwhelmed my first few days here." This time I told her the truth.

"Oh, I've made so many mistakes already!" she burst out. She was clearly the excitable type. I reprimanded myself again, remembering that I could be, too. Joellen was still talking. "I've already used a spell that I'm not supposed to know, and I get lost and run into the wrong people.."

My interest flickered. "Wait...do you mean you actually used a spell, or you attempted to?" I couldn't do any spells yet..."Did your father teach you some spells before you came here?"

Jo looked abashed again. "Well, I attempted to, but I don't actually have a wand yet. I grabbed one lying on the table."

My eyebrow raised. I wouldn't ever dare to use a wand left just lying around...this girl is either incredibly stupid, or has guts. I wondered whether those two met often, stupidity and gumption.

I got up to leave, promising her I'd talk to her later. I still wanted to pick apples, but I needed a rest. I wondered if she was watching me leave, and what she was thinking about me. Was I too harsh to be so critical of someone I'd just met. Did I really belong in this House of people who were patient and kind, just and loyal? Was I any of those things?

006 -- Adventuring Over the Weekend

I'm back! Sorry, I haven't felt like writing in a few days, I've been too busy to, actually! But it's quiet right now and I'm sitting next to the enchanted window in our dorm, watching the rain come down.

I wanted to go pick apples today, so I hope the real weather isn't like this.

I mentioned that I met some people. Well, Alex is in classes, so she had to go to bed that first night, and Loki and I decided to check out the pumpkin carving in Slythoween. What an idea!

We had fun picking out the 'perfect' pumpkins, and we hauled them over to the carving station and laughed and talked while we doodled out designs.

The problem with these pumpkins is, they come alive and attack you! So, after mine was finished, it came alive. Only it had a really goofy face on it, so it ended up just hopping around on the table. It also kept flopping over and I would grab it to steady it. Once or twice it actually bit me!

Loki's, however, had the headless horseman carved into it, and his was mean. It launched itself at his head until it managed to knock him down. I was sitting on it and talking to Alex when he ran off. I guess he thought we were following him, but I didn't know I was supposed to, and I got lost in the darn castle with this pumpkin chasing me through the air...

I eventually found a door that I could barricade myself behind, and I spent the night on the floor, listening to the pumpkin bounce off the door, trying to get at me. - -'

When I found my way back into the dorms the next morning, I was stiff and cold and found my two friends standing and talking to two other first years I didn't know. I pretended to be mad with Loki over his pumpkin, and we both dissolved into fits of giggles. As I warmed myself by the fire, I introduced myself to the other students, whose names are Ally and Marius.

We decided we were hungry, and Ally knew the way to the Great Hall, so we went down for a bite to eat. Loki opted out, saying he was sleepy, and fell asleep in the chair by the fire.

Down in the Great Hall, I got to really eat for the first time since I'd been here. And the food was too delicious! I snacked on sandwiches, drank tea, and even tried pumpkin juice for the first time! It's wonderful. While we sat there, we learned more about each other, talking about classes and home life and when we got our letters.

After scarfing my food down so fast, I didn't feel very well and went to the dorms to sleep it off.

When I woke up, my friends were in the common room again, and it was much later. My new Scotch-Irish friend, Marius, had a black eye! Ally and Alex looked uncomfortable and tense, and Ally kept shooting dark looks at Alex. I had NO idea what had happened, and was ticked that I'd slept through it. Apparently, (all they would tell us) Marius got into a fight with a 7th year and got punched. I don't know why or what over, though. They kept mentioning a prank.

As confused as I was, however, that was nothing to how Loki felt for not being there to stand up for his new friend. And he was still hungry, so we said goodbye to Ally and Alex (Marius was heading up to his dorm room), and Loki and I went back to the Great Hall to find him some food.

He tried pumpkin juice on my authority and loved it. :)

We were later joined by Marius and Ally, who were both bored and looking for something to do, and we also met another first year named Joellen Karr, a Ravenclaw, and two second years; another 'Claw named Darla and a Huffie like me, named Ian.

Ian was a little antaganistic and immediately jumped into making fun of Darla. It sounded like he'd pulled some kind of prank on her and Ally in the haunted maze. Ally went deathly pale and refused to really talk about it. I wonder what happened to her in that maze?

And then it happened. Our new acquaintance, Jo, made a strange comment, and told me my 'boyfriend' was really cute. It was then that I noticed Alex. She was sitting at the end of the table and looking really glum, but at these words, she was looking at Loki to see how he'd react.
When I heard her words and saw this reaction, I spit out my pumpkin juice.

"Boyfriends?! Who's talking about kissing boys? And holding their hands? Blech!" I sputtered, going pink in the face. Loki was blushing to his hairline, and Marius jumped in and covered Jo's tracks, changing the subject.

Alex had quietly gotten up and left the Great Hall without our noticing. I tried to feel bad, but I had grown a little weary that day. She would interrupt when Loki asked me anything. I'd been shrugging it off, but in light of the few minutes spent in the Great Hall, now it unnerves me. Does she like him or something? She can have him. As long as he's still my friend.

It was then that Darla made the comment about hand holding. She said it would be different, once I'd actually held the hand of a boy I liked. I can't imagine 'liking' boys like that. Loki makes me feel warm inside, and I can feel my face glow when I see him, but that's just because he was my first friend here, when I really, really needed one. But then, why doesn't seeing Alex make me feel that way?

Marius and Ian had been exchanging words. He whispered something at Ally and then got up and ran from the hall. I watched him go, and then elbowed Loki, who was lost in thought. When I asked him what was wrong, he was nervous and scared. He wanted to stand up and fight and be part of the boys, but he didn't like the idea of fighting an older wizard who knew more spells than he did. I wasn't really sure what to say to this. I don't know why boys want to fight. But I tried to change the subject and asked him where he thought our pumpkins were, now. That cheered him up a bit.

And then Marius ran back into the room. o_O With one hand behind his back. It turns out he was hiding a small, snarling, enchanted pumpkin of his own. He dropped it into Ian's hood and then started laughing. I, meanwhile, and Ally with me, we both stood up and quickly backed away. I ended up falling over a chair, and hitting the ground. Loki grabbed my hand and tugged me out of the hall in the confusion, and we sprinted all the way back down to the Dungeons.

It was back in this common room that I finally realized we were holding hands. His hand was soft and warm, and I...well, I don't know how I felt about it. Different, like Darla said. But does that mean I'm getting all mushy over a boy? I refuse to let it be so! So today when I see him, I'm going to pretend nothing happened. We'll go pick apples in the rain, and try to stay out of trouble, and just be lonely first year friends again.

I did get a few moments to talk to another 2nd year, this one is one of my roommates, named Nessie. She's a nice girl, and she plays violin! We didn't talk much, but we're sleeping in the same dorm; I'm sure we'll get plenty of time for talking. :)

With that, I'm going to wrap this up. Loki's not downstairs, I don't know where Ally and Alex are, and I haven't seen Marius at all today, either, and I'm hungry. So I'm going down to the Great Hall to grab a bite. Later!

005 -- After the First Week..

I'm happier today. I met some people! A girl and a boy, first years like me! I didn't get to talk to Alex much; I let her talk to Loki while I dozed by the fire. Loki has this incredibly cute kitten, named Frey. I think I'm going to like all three of them, very much.

I still don't have a dorm, but neither does Loki, so we've been curling up on chairs by the fire. It feels so good to have a friend. He reads and likes Mythology, too! And Alex likes to draw. They're both so creative.

I won't be able to sign up for any classes until January. I forget whether I mentioned that or not, so I suppose after making these friends I should try and get to know my way around the school a little better. It's still too big to be real. I haven't been back out to the willow tree since that first day, but I think it's because the fireplace in the common room is warm and full of activity, and after this first week of silence, I want the noise. How odd, I didn't think I would.

In another month and a half, I'll get to go to Diagon Alley and get my school things, and be ready for classes! I hope I'll be able to focus enough to pass. I wouldn't want to fail out of this school. I think I might be able to feel at home here.

I do, however, miss my parents terribly. Neither of them have written so far, but I'm sure they're very busy. I just have to be patient.

All the mail gets delivered by owl here. It's weird! Maybe I should write my mom and dad letters, first, so they know how to get letters back to me.

I just looked back at my old entries, and even I can see the difference, as though the happiness and sadness can each leak out of my skin and soak the paper while I write. I wonder why that is.....

Well, I'm going to leave and walk around some, and maybe duck in the Great Hall for some food, I'm sure it's about dinner time. Later!

Hey there! This is Abby. I wasn't thinking about Mythology or many of Jordan's interests other than reading in general and music, but when the new student entered the dorm with the name Loki, I was so excited that Jordan couldn't help herself. She's going to be a lot more like me than I intended, I think.

I'm staying at my sister-in-law's house for a few more days, so I've been distracted by my niece and nephew, who are 3 years old and 9 months, respectively. And I hear them laughing in the yard, so I know they're home, and I won't write much more here. I don't want this to be too much of me, after all. It's Jordan's journal! So I'm kicking myself off. Bye!

004 -- Two Miserable Days Later..

And still no communication. I haven't been assigned to a dorm, and I haven't made any friends--or even talked to any other first years. I need to. I need friends.

The silence is oppressive, and it's smothering me. I want to scream and shout and throw things, but I know better. I'm sitting in the dorm right now and my stomach is gurgling, and I know I need to go find something to eat. I've been sleeping on these chairs for two nights now..I'm starting to stink and I still don't have access to a dorm to change my clothes, or get my bathroom stuff and take a shower. I'm miserable.

I was so hopeful when I was talking to Anna. I thought something would happen. I thought I'd make some friends. I can see her now, but she's comforting a friend of her own, someone her age. The other girl's been crying in the windowseat over something. I've never been good at giving comfort, so I stay curled up in my chair and pretend to be asleep. All I've been doing is sleep. I need to get up today and leave this room and meet some people!

So I'm going to stop complaining, and do something about this. I'll find a bathroom somewhere and just rinse if I have to, and drip-dry. And by God, I'll make a friend today.

003: Lost Again

I can't take another minute of this. I was talking to a girl a few years older than me, but as we left to go look around, I got held up by a teacher and fell behind.

The teacher assigned me a mentor to help me out, named Tucker Lewis, I think. A boy. I don't want to talk to any boys. I'm not comfortable talking to girls.

I tried to catch up with Anna, but she was gone, and I'm lost again.

I walk through an apple orchard, back on the grounds, when I see him again. The young boy that looks like he's my age. I've seen him every time I've been on the grounds, and try as I might I can't avoid him. I don't want to talk to him, he looks like trouble. Every time I see him he's shooting water out of his wand at something, and it's too cold for water.

So I double back and try to sneak away unnoticed...

He sees me. And he introduces himself as Charlie.

I can't talk to him. My mouth goes dry and I'm nervous. Not because he's a boy, but because he's a stranger and all I wanted was to be alone.

So I tell him my name, and I run.

Back to this castle. With its hustle and bustle and stranger faces.

I'm still gripping my 'buddy' assignment, but I have no idea who this boy is. I wonder if he'll be in the common room, and I'm dying for a close warm space again, so I turn towards the dungeons and try to find my way back..

So..I'm back. I haven't had much more productive of a day today. Of course, I met a third year named Anna, and she agreed to introduce me to some other first years, but I lost her and haven't found her again yet.

I still don't know what to do about this boy that's supposed to show me what I'm supposed to do here. I thought I'd be assigned a girl.

I still haven't been assigned to a dorm, either. I just wish I had a bed to sleep on tonight.

Better the armchairs in here, though, than the cold, drafty corridor I was in last night.

I miss my parents. My mom and I were never very close, but she loves me and I can tell, and my dad...my dad can make the sun come out when it's storming. I need him to give me a huge bear hug and tell me not to stress so (a trait of my mother's), that everything works itself out in the end and we're just here for the ride, so we may as well make the most of it. I can hear him saying it now...

002 : My New Common Room

I stare across the hearth, as the older girl before me casually answers my questions.

I'm still scared, truly. This is a new fear. Before was the old fear of being ignored and forgotten in this big dismal place, but that was replaced by this fear of the warmth that could be false, the smile that might not be genuine. I have no people skills and can't tell whether she wants to be back at work or really likes talking to new students, but I'm so desperate for interaction of any kind that I find myself asking more questions, jumping from topic to topic to keep any sort of conversation going.

I've, at least, found the Hufflepuff Common Room. I know I belong here, whether anyone else believes it. The hat put me here, just as it placed every student I see talking in this room or out wandering those halls. I just have to find my place.

I ask if she plays the violin. I do so miss my violin. I've been deprived of it for some hours now, and since I don't know my dorm assignment, I'm left homeless. Just a little while longer.

Her answer is hesitant and for some time I wonder if she's finished with our chat. I wait for her to grab her books and wander off in search of solitude. I wouldn't blame her--Was I not just out on the grounds doing that very thing? But now that I'm surrounded by warm air and background noise that I can handle, I want very much to stay here.

So I wait patiently, thinking of what I'll tell my journal tonight, who else I may meet, and, best of all, falling asleep in my own, new bed, ready to face this giant world apart from the world.

Introductions

Hullo! I need to post some OOC stuff to clear my head, before I can properly start this journal.

My name is Abby Ufford. I'm 21 years old, newlywed, and planning on becoming a mommy in the next year. My husband and I work for the same company, but right now he's working and I'm laid off for a few weeks while we sort through some more contracts, so I've found myself with a lot of time on my hands during the day.

So, in addition to cleaning, cooking, reading, and practicing the violin, I joined a RolePlay site called Hogwarts Online. I've done these before and haven't really stuck to them, and I'm determined to make this one my HP home. (The last one I was in was very...clique-ey. After several weeks of trying to fit in, my character and I could no longer hack it. All the other girls in my dorm were realistically 8 years younger than me.) This new site is BIG. And seems to be decently active. I really want to make a home here, especially if I'll be getting a lot of computer time.

So Jordan was born. She's 10 years old at the moment, her birthday is November 13, 1998. She has clear blue eyes and curly brown hair. Having been out of Rping for so long, I've created a journal for her so she and I can adjust to creative typing again. It's been a while. She just arrived at the school, but Fall Term is already under way, so she and I are at a loss trying to figure out what to do with ourselves. The school is so big! Anywho, I suppose I should let her tell you....

I'm scared.

There. I've said it. I never considered myself a fraidy cat, and here I am, scared and miserable and cold.

That's not a good way to start my school journal. My Dad gave this book before I left--so he and Mom could one day read all about my adventures. One day.

My name is Jordan Bard. I have a mother and a father, and no siblings. I'm ten years old, but I'll be eleven next month! I have brown hair that is frustratingly curly, no matter what I try and do to it.

My mom is a concert violinist. She plays in a small orchestra, even though she's good enough to play solo. She's too terrified. She jokes around with me and tells me it's because she wouldn't get to travel with her friends, but after feeling all this fear, myself, I know. She's scared.

My dad is a journalistic photographer, and likes to take snapshots of people in various states of health, wealth, and mood. He's a cheerful, optimistic person, very unlike me, but he's my best friend.

They both travel for their work, which means either I am travelling with them (which I like), or I am sent to a boarding school so someone can keep an eye on me. Sometimes they hire a nanny for the summer and let me stay home. It makes me proud to feel like the head of the house, but it's a lonely life, mostly. I don't have any friends my age.

This past summer, my nanny and I were eating breakfast, when a letter arrived for me--for me! I've been accepted to Salazar Academy, and I get to learn magic! It's pretty exciting. Some other day I'll explain how we should have known I was different, but we never saw it coming. :)

My parents were unable to get me here before Fall Term started, but unable to keep me at home until Winter Term. So I am here, but not in any classes. This school is too large. I've wandered around and gotten lost too many times to count, already. Last night I spent curled up next to a wheezy suit of armor in one of the halls, and shivered my way through the night. I don't know where my dorm is, and haven't gotten a chance to ask anyone to take me there.

There is a program that will pair me up with someone who will get me used to this school. I just have to wait patiently.

Until then, I've found my way outside to this willow tree, where I can write and be scared and not feel like I'm floating away.

Now, though, the sun is out and I'm going to watch the birds fly overhead and relax, before making another stab at finding my way around.

I'll write more later!